In loving memory of Abah, Al - Fatihah

Before I begin this post, appreciate if readers can recite al-fatihah to Allahyarham Dato' Haji Mohd Razif Abdul Kadir, or Abah as the family called him.

My path with arwah abah crossed officially last year when Rizhan introduced me to him as his girlfriend. Often we know that the first meeting with the future in-law can be rather daunting. Furthermore, the fact that abah was the big boss in the organization that I work with; makes it even harder.

My heart was pounding as I reached Damansara Specialist Hospital that morning. The plan was to go for a lil jogging and walking at TTDI park as abah was warded the day before after he was first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was merely practicing my line :-

"Assalamualaikum uncle, my name is Suhana. How are you? how are you feeling today?"

Keep on mumbling the above sentences, I think I repeated those for more than 20 times

When he arrived, shook his hand and the first thing that came out was: -

"Good morning Dato' "

pfffttttt. So much of practising I have to say. Rizhan and Rushdi were laughing out loud while arwah abah smiled at me and replied "ooo good morning nana"

I was embarassed. Little that I know he already knew my shortnames. He shook my hand with a gesture of acceptance and his smile ease all the anxiety.

After the jogging session, I suggested for a breakfast at some kopitiam. He said, "eh no need, we breakfast at the hospital room, theres so many food. We can share the nasi lemak"

Thank you Allah, thats what I praised that morning when I realised how friendly and accepting he was towards me. Being the DG, he asked about my supervision work and asked me how well I am coping with the working environment.

His second question was "so, how many overseas inspection have you been"

Yeiks, I was stunned. Maybe overseas inspection is the benchmark of how succesful you are as a supervisor. "ermmm, none so far uncle"

"Its okay, the opportunity will come. It is a very good exposure for you, once its there must make sure you utilise it"

From that moment I realised my journey with this family is going to be a smooth ride. Coupled with the fact that Mama is always nice to me, I told myself this is the place to be. I have found the one.

During the period where he was fighting the cancer, he never failed to show high spirit and always objective and positive in the outcome. He never show any sign of pain in front of us, always smile and always cheerful.

After i was registered as his BBM friends, abah always bbm me. Behind rizhan's back he always asked me on our plan to get married to a point where sometimes I feel scared if I received his bbm text. His favourite line

"you must push rizhan to make that call. Only you can do it, we have tried on your behalf but boy he is a stubborn child"

"Uncle nak nana asked him the question, asked him where is he going with you in this relationship. I dont want my son to keep on bringing you here and there with no ikatan. I am equally guilty"

Not just the above, abah once bbm me "Good luck on your marathon. Uncle doakan a good race for you". Rizhan was so bitter since abah didnt even sms him...

With all the sms, bbm text and phone calls, i felt closer to abah. But sometimes abah can be a person where he will text you when he cant say it in front of your face. One text that I will remember for the rest of my life:-

"take great care of my son. His eczema has never been easy to him, sometimes he will be grumpy. please sabar. I hope you will love him as much as we do"

I remembered he was very excited after rizhan came to my parents house, to meet my parents. One after another bbm text came in asking how was it.

"Rizhan dah mula, now its uncle and aunty punya turn to follow suit. nana set date with your parents, uncle nak book nana nanti dikebas orang"

Rizhan was pissed when he read it. "Abah ni tak sabar la"
I can only smile because I understand the reason why abah was so excited. But the decision is not in my hand.

When rizhan proposed, abah and mama were at Singapore for treatment. Right after he proposed to me, mama called and I heard abah's voice at the back. "we are so happy nana"

To any girl, approval from your future in law is rather enough but having them to be equally excited with the decision makes me feel so blessed to be around. Abah didnt make it for the engagement, but Im glad he had the chance to be involved in the merisik.

His only question during the merisik "can we set the date? nnt kita nak book dewan"

Now I realised he was rushing the date; so he can be there with us. Im so sorry abah...

Abah passed away peacefully with family members surrounding his bedside, and tonnes of friends and relatives flooded the ICU. Abah was a great man, not even a soul who doesnt like him. He fought hard with his illness to the very end with no sign of giving up. Abah was a fighter, he never complained of his pain not even one single second. For one year and 2 months, he fought it hard but Allah loves him even more. Abah passed away in this Holly month of Ramadhan, ternyata Allah lebih tau rancanganNya kepada setiap hambanya.

For beloved abah, you will always be in my mind and my heart. Even though it was short, for me to call you abah and for you to see me as your daughter but it was a sweet one. Thank you for everything abah, you makes it thousand times easier to enter the family and God knows how much I love you. You were the best father-in-law one can ever get. Im sorry for any wrong doings and we will miss you dearly. InsyaAllah I will take great care of Rizhan and we will be there for mama, ana, udi, rahimi and fitri; and we will always remember you.

Al - fatihah

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan diletakkan di kalangan orang beriman.