Thursday, March 27, 2014

So so excited

9 more sleeps to my baby boy's birthday
and I am so so excited

Event organizer mode is totally ON!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014


I've lost the battle,
The battle between BF and FM
I know, I bore you with a lot of breastfeeding stories yada yada,
But I personally think I must tell this story,
So others can benefit from it...

Initially I've set a short term mission; 6 month fully breastfeeding then extended to 1 year fully breastfeeding. It is important for mothers who wish to breastfeed their child to set their own target, mission and vision so it can be your motivating factor.
The first 6 months was easy, supply was exceeding the demand so to speak
So I had a lot of EBM in my fridge

The reality kicked in when he was 8 months old,
Stocks depleted so cepat I cant even catch up...
and the situation worsen when I started sending him to Tunas Kijang, the daycare centre under my organization
With 5 teachers and 11 babies in his class, Adam can no longer enjoy the benefit of having all eyes watching his every move, his every need. Everything is based on schedule in which they have allocated 3 milk time daily
So, 3 x 4oz per milk time, I have to prepare 12 oz of EBM every day for him
I was not very keen on setting the oz too high considering he is already taking solid food and I dont think he will be hungry every 1.5hrs but I cant comment much when they say theres a possibility he wants more milk when he sees everybody else is drinking theirs
#irestmycase #hisneedisevenmoreimportant

In order to be able to provide those ounces, I have to do more pumping.
Its easy if you are staying at home, you can just shove your boobies to his face and the problem is solved
Its not easy when you are working and hell its even worse when you are an auditor
The other auditor mommies can vouch to this
I practically have back-to-back meeting during peak season, and it were all long winded meeting
Also with the lactation room situation where banks that I audit do npt provide this facility which translated to pumping-at-any-places kind of modus operandi in order to achieve the target

But I cant be having 4 pumping session at the office/bank. So I end up pumping in the middle of the night or as early as 4am everyday. It was really tiring I cant deny that. I've been doing this for 2 months despite all the pressure for me to top his milk intake with formula milk.

But somehow along the line, I lost. It really took a toll on me and with heavy hearts I introduced Goat's formula milk to my baby, at the age of 10 months++. I cried that day, every time I think of it, I cried. I have failed in giving the best to my son.

So, the moral of the story here is to be prepared if you wish to fully bf your baby till 2 years old. It requires tonnes of sacrifice, lesser sleep hours, more wrinkle around your eyes, more money spend on eye cream and the most important part, your emotion.

You also need to be emotionally strong to combat this. You need to have a good surrounding. You need to have an understanding husband that would be willing to do house chores like folding clothes, sweeping floor, make the bed and etc. You need to be with positive people that have similar goal to see the baby is getting the best milk in the whole wide world and most importantly money cant buy. You need to have the environment where people acknowledge that breastfeeding is the best choice.

To husbands out there, help your wife. Because that's the least of things that you can do. Literally. Think about those money that your wife helped to save when she provide her milk to your child. Formula milk is not cheap I can tell you that. If you think that your day sucks, think again because what your wife had to endure in order to produce those 12 ounces is beyond word. Heck if men can produce milk instead of women, I am sure that Formula Milk companies is doubling their profit today.Also, always think that this is just  a phase when she suddenly PMS-ing and what not. It will go away and it will be a smooth one if she is getting all the help that she need

To my son, I am so sorry. I have failed you. I will try still until I just cant do it anymore. Do know that I will do anything for you,even it cost me my life and my happiness

I love you Adam Khaliff

Say something...

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

- A Great Big World - 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

A lil' appreciation

So, you know the valentine's day is tomorrow. Not that I celebrated it, but it was fun seeing the guys in my office browsing the local delivery florist website for flowers arrangement to their love ones and it was a real fun giving them advice on what to get the girls (you girls have no idea how lucky you guys are, like seriously). When I asked them, "Did your girlfriend forced you to get her this?", their sincere answer was surprising to me. They did it because they want to not that they will be scold at if they don't. "Ala, nehmind la expensive, its nothing to compare to what she always give me". "Its just a small way to show I appreciate her, thats all"


Young love is beautiful. no?

So the key point here is appreciate. Appreciated, appreciation and all related words. Its a little things to do but very difficult to be executed. As simple as thank you is already a gesture of appreciation. You appreciate what the other party did for you be it shutting down the fan, bath your child or even to fold your clothes.

To me, to appreciate requires honesty and sincerity. Well, when you do stuff, you have to be sincere about it. Not because you expect someone else will say thank you to you, or keep quoting the good deeds u do over times.

In love, you need to appreciate too. Its not difficult. As simple as thanking your other half for everything that he/she does to you, to your children and to your extended family. I found this today when I was browsing my normal sites to cheer me up.

“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:

1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation

Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.

Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?

So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.” 

Nice. Real nice quote

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Adam Khaliff at 9 months

I am so in love with my son, cant you tell? my IG is now flooded with his and his only picture. I dont even have latest pic of myself nowadays. The power of son, I must tell you that

Anyway, Adam Khaliff is now 9 months old ++. He is one bubbly boy, loves loves loves to smile. He crawl like a bear and he always manage to make me smile when he smile while watching minions in Despicable Me. He is also an eater and it is always a joy feeding and preparing his food. He loves avocado, banana and he also loves pasta. His new favorite food now is Baby Bites biscuits and now the biscuit is our great knights when dining out. Hehehhehee

But somehow like a normal human being, I do feel slightly challenged with his clingy behavior especially at night. He wants only my boobs me and me only. I am literally like a human pacifier. But as time grow, Ive learned to realise that these sleepless night that I have is temporary and one fine day he will be able to sleep on his own and at that moment I will miss feeding him before bed emo

Mommy and Adam forever mwah mwahhh

Monday, January 13, 2014

It has been a while

It has been a while since I...

  • went for a hair treatment
  • Had one hour Pedicure and manicure
  • Eat durian
  • Had an uninterrupted sleep 
  • Sleep more than 5 hours
  • Buy clothes in XS size
  • Buy pants in S size
  • People compliment me for my fitness level and body figures
  • People seek some running advice
  • Had an adult conversation without my son's name included in it
  • Wear high heels
  • Purchase brand new handbag
  • Eat and drink without having to worry on the impact of my milk production (seriously, drinking barley = pengsan)
  • Rest well at home after work
  • Watch movie in the cinema
  • went for window shopping
  • have fine dining experience
  • watch TV with an actual sound 
  • had a stress free vacation
#thisistemporaryihope #iamsleepdeprivedcantyoutell? #ilovemysonnomatterwhat #pleasedontjudgemeimjustanormalhumanbeing #ideservebettertreatment

The Capital C

The Capital C stands for Chanel

I've been having a lot of orgasmic dream of having a Chanel bag to call my own. So I told myself, dream can only be true once you materialise it. However, this dream is not cheap. Generally we know how much Chanel cost but none would understand why it is worth it to have one

I recently read a blog post by on Top 10 reason why you need to own a Chanel Bag and I told myself, it does make sense. I did some imaginary calculation in my mind that I have been wasting too much money on other designer handbags that if I add up the number, I could easily own myself the Classip Flap.

I know people in their right mind would not agree with this calculation, because truth is that purchase of other designer bags should not happen in the first place. I have people surround me who always criticize me for every purchase that I made, I know its true what they say about bags are all the same but hey nothing is the same with Chanel.

Ever since I gave birth to Adam, I have yet to purchase anything big for myself. So I thought this could be the right time. My very own push gift to me

Now who is in concurrence raise your hand pls!


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