Monday, June 9, 2014

Take care of yourself

Eversince i've become a mother to my little bub, my one and only priority is him. I will do whatever it takes so long the outcome will benefit him which inevitably this did take a toll on me
I gain weight due to my low will power when it comes to food, as I always feel hungry when I breastfed him
I also tend to slightly deviated away from the beauty department, as my time to really put on all those make-up has significantly decreased to so little time sometimes I feel its worth to have a 10 minutes nap rather than be in front of the mirror and getting dolled uo
I now forgot my own recipe on mushroom soup as my time in the kitchen now is more likely used to cook his food to be freeze up

So yah, obviously these took a toll on my appearance, my hair are as flat as it can be, my clothes dont get me started on this one, if you are close to me you would realize that I usually will rotate and recycle my tops as theres only few left that I feel comfortable with

I know all of these makes me sound like a bad mother. I even hear people judging me as they keep on reading "oh my, those are sacrifices, mother does all that. If you cant do it then do be a mother at all"

Well, it is pretty simple to judge others. I know there are mothers who are able to do all of these but still looking superbly nice and skinny. *well, discard marion caunter in this.she has dozens of maids to help her*. To me you guys are real supermom. When people keep saying that mothers are superwoman, I dont think I should smile and be part of it, cause I dont think I am that at all

I am those mother who are scared to move my baby's position in the middle of the night fear that he will wake up and it will require times to put him to bed again. I am those mother where I fed my baby's his milk with my eyes almost shut down and "shu shu shu shu" were on repeat to ensure he would sleep right after milk time.

I am certainly not those who are high on whatever that can keep on playing with their little ones even at 10.30pm at night. and I certainly am not those mother who would always pujuk my bub when they put on his sulking face instead I would go and nag them, "dont be such a brat!"

I always believe that children should fear something in life. I dont quite care what is it but there must be something that they should fear. You can't let them know that they can manipulate you and they certainly cannot know that they will win all the time.

Since parenting requires two parties, a good cop and bad cop is after all the best approach. But mommy cannot be the bad cop all the time right? You know I was warned once before when I was still pregnant. A friend of mind told me, theres 2 types of father, the one that will be the one your kids fear, or the one that always complaint and tell you whatever you are doing is wrong and your approach sucks or in a layman term a good cop dad

Good cop,bad cop is okay but the role has to be on rotation. As I said earlier, mommy cannot be the bad cop forever! So it is wise to always rotate and to bear in mind whoever wearing the bad cop hat at the time, the good one should never complaint and marah them in front of the kids

But oh well, you can only plan. You can plan to train your child to sleep in a cot, you can plan for your child to be independent but both parties must agree to the plan then only it will work

I am still trying




Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Before you were mommy

Read this from shared FB article.
I thought I should share this as well


I had teary eyes when I read these bit:

Ladies, there will come a day when your husband walks in the door and you do not turn around. You will be preoccupied with filling up sippy cups and wiping booties. You will shout over the running bath water, “Hey! Glad you’re home.” But it won’t mean what it used to mean. It won’t be full of eager anticipation to spend time together. It will be full of expectations to aid in the demands of the family. “Glad you’re home,” will more properly translate, “Thank God for two extra hands to help me.” And “Praise the Lord I might get five minutes alone.”
Ladies, there will come a day when you spend every last ounce of yourselves on your children. The demands of life and the babies will come before any other priority. What little of yourself you have left at the end of the day will be used to crawl into bed before someone is awake to need you again. The thought of doing anything else after the children are asleep will sound impossible and your handsome husband’s happy smile had better mean he is willing to get up with the baby and nothing more. 
The husband that once completed your heart will be just one more person who needs you. The charming things that you fell for will go unnoticed. The daily grind will become expected.
Men, there will come a time when that beautiful bride sitting next to you hasn’t showered in days. She will be at her wit’s end wearing other people’s food and poop on her clothing. She will need to hear that she is beautiful, but she won’t listen to you. She will need to know that she is still lovable, but she won’t want you near her. When you arrive home after meeting the demands of work, you will be expected to meet the demands of your family. Your wife will hear none of your exhaustion, and you will see none of hers.
Men, you will call home to ask a quick question and anticipate a two-minute conversation. Half of it will be spent listening to your wife talk to your kids. As a matter of fact, you will make it no more than a few sentences in to any conversation ever before your wife spurts out direction to your children.“Don’t climb that!” or “Don’t sit on your sister!” You will become accustomed to these outbursts, but you will forget that there was ever a time when you had her full attention.
But Ladies, when Mommy becomes your name, remember this man. Remember that you are his wife. Remember how much you love and appreciate him in this moment. Remember his dedication to your family. Remember his love and devotion to you. And then, when the days are long and you need a break, fall into his arms.
Men, remember your bride. The care and love that she has given you will soon be spilled over to your children. Her love for you will not change. Give her the grace to be enough even when she doesn’t feel like it. Remember when your days are long, hers are too. Remember her. Fall in love with her again.
Remember each other. Remember the two that made the family. Let the Lord lead you both together. Because when the days are endless and the hours short, it will only be His love who keeps you together. It will only be His mercy that gently guides your hearts as one. Hold tightly to one another, and even more tightly to the Lord. There is no greater adventure for you to experience and no greater gift than to walk through parenthood with your best friend.  You are a team. Every single day.
*taken from the blog
Dont think its the hormones that made me teary, but when I read it line-by-line, theres not even a word that I do not agree at all. 
Moms out there, give yourself a well deserved break. Find your own me time. Find time to still date your husband (I know its difficult sometimes, the thought of leaving the kids behind. If its not you, its him will feel such way), find time to be happy again. Splurge on something that you always wanted to do or buy. If people judged you for that, well you can just ignore them and keep those happy thoughts to yourself. Share your happiness with others, even when what you did was just sipping your most favorite drink at Starbucks. If the person doesnt feel it, then know for sure he/she its not worth it and dont let them ruin your happiness
Of course, it will not be an easy process. I know that for sure. 
But keep trying

Online Business: Yes or NO?

Hi,

I've been wanting to blog about my personal experiences on shopping online with IG shops. As a true believer and supporter of e-payment, I have always put my trust in online shopping. I mean why not? It's easy, less cash being in circulation (do you know that it is costly for central banks to keep on producing new notes and maintaining existing currency notes? so, e-payment pls), less hassle. Think about it, you click,browse, add to cart and wallah the item u purchased will be delivered to your door

Recently, online business has taken a new dimension where sellers begin their business with Instagram. Its cheaper, no cost to maintain your own web, no fee to be paid to e-payment service provider and easier way for customer to reach out for you. I like it. Very much. Only at the beginning

My first bad experience with IG was when items I've ordered were wrongly delivered to a different address. WA-ed the seller, she apologized and send back a new item to me. No additional charges incurred. So I cant complaint much.

Second experience, I ordered a skirt from a seller only to receive a different item. Confronted, she said it was my mistake as I said blue skirt only and i didnt mention plain blue skirt. Although I remembered correctly saying royal blue plain skirt, but I did not pursue it. Instead I purchased another skirt. The royal blue plain skirt. It ends there

Third experience, I deposited a substantial amount of money to a personal shopper(PS) to purchase my long awaited C bag.I figured this would be my dream come true,finally I have my own C. PS went to Paris, went to one store and mentioned that the item that I wanted is not available. So I told myself,it was not meant to be. I told them, its okay I dont want any other color, I just want black. Its okaylah,you can return back the money.

"NO REFUND"

My blood went upstairs! How can this happened? I tried to educate them about the meaning of refund only to find out that they will never accept any of your argument, especially if you are just plain joe! They even asked me to get other color or simply choose another model. Are you freaking kidding me?

I still have some patience in me, I gave them a month to look for my bag. They went for another trip and managed to get the bag in different color. Fear that I will not see my money forever, I agreed. But there you go again, I have to add another RM300 to my existing RM6.7k deposited to them as they said the price is different now. I hesitated and insist it cannot be FX charges as Euro showed some deterioration against ringgit. They realised that I know FX, they said C increased their price. So I insist on the receipt. They agreed!

When they returned, I received the bag but only with a different paperbag (crumpled one too). If you buy C in its specialty store, you will get every packaging in white. Instead I received the black one. I asked for the receipt. She said "eh masa we apply VAT, custom took the receipt".

WTF?

Isn't the receipt (original) will be given back to the customer and custom will only take their copy? You think I didnt know this? U think I have never done any traveling in European countries?

I was beyond angry. I let them go but I will never halalkan whatever they took from me.

My fourth experience, as I dont like the C in red color, i re-sell it to another PS. Price was agreed upon and she agreed on the amount that I will received once the bag find the new owner

She managed to sell it in a jiffy but I cant say the same about my money. I practically need to WA her everyday to bank in the money, and the money was banked in on staggered basis and took about 3 weeks to complete the whole amount

I let it go considering that maybe she has her own business model on how her money should flow. But I cannot accept it when she paid me lesser than what we agreed upon as she claimed she forgot that the agreed price was as such. So she claimed if she paid me the sum, she will only earn a little from the transaction

Well, I wasnt upset that I loss RM100 out of it. But I was so upset that IG sellers has no ethics when it comes to honoring the agreed terms and condition. It was clearly her mistake but I have to face the consequences. I told her it was not my rezeki then but I am not happy she treated me as such and I leave it to Allah for everything that happened

Another experience was with IG seller of baby stuff. I wanted to purchase a car seat for Adam, saw the promo price and texted her to confirm availability. She said its in stock and I requested for her payment details

After 2 days, she didnt reply so I texted her again only to find out that the promo price stock is no longer available. I was not happy as she confirmed to me that its in stock and I was waiting for her account no to make the payment

And I was really angry when she mentioned this "Masa I confirm tu, still in stock. But now dah habis. Lagipun sis belum bank in"

WTF again!

She lost me at "sis belum bank in"


All these experiences makes me swear that I will never buy from IG anymore. Exception to the 2 that I have always have good experience and now considered friend. Seriously guys, think before you purchase anything from them, think really hard before u transfer money to a total stranger. If you cant help it, try with smaller amount of purchase to establish trust.

For now, Im just gonna buy old school style ofshopping

Bayar for barang ada depan mata!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Adam Khaliff is ONE

I have an overdue birthday party review to write about

Adam Khaliff turned one year old on 6 April 2014. I've started the preparation bit with a lot of imaginary ideas of how it should be with no execution at all.

I've only started my execution phase when it were 3 weeks left to the party

Gahhhhhhhhh...it was so hectic and madness

We have decided on a BBQ kind of party so I was not really searching for food caterer so to speak. My only focus was on getting some side dishes to complement the main menu for the day i.e BBQ. I ordered lasagna from Luscious Treat, the owner is my friend's big sister. Luscious Treat serve the best lasagna in town. I kid you not


source: Luscious Treat's page

For kids entertainment, I have tonnes of activities in mind but obviously we cant have it all. Initially I wanted to have a bouncy castle for the kids but considering the space constraints and grandma's house is equipped with swimming pool so we thought the pool would be enough to entertain the kids

So alternative activity for kids who cant swim, 

SAND ART!

Tables for kids to have fun with the sand art. I bought the minions plastic table cover from bugsparty. Its just RM29.90. Good deal


Signage from dear Azalea





Adults can have fun too


Since this is a minion theme party, I tried to put in some elements of Despicable Me movie. In the movie, Gru has a weapon called freeze ray where it literally freeze everything that he pointed at.

But mine were just a watergun and those kids loved it very much. The watergun were so cheap it is just RM1.80 each, bought at a party store in Seremban. Thanks to my babe Annette



Freeze ray area


The water gun!


For the candy buffet, Ive customised the printing order for Kit Kat wrapper, mineral water bottle label, cupcake topper from PartyHat.

You should check out their website for a good package. Initially I wanted to get everything from dear Azalea but it would be too costly since I am preparing a party for almost 40 kids

The candy buffet table

Kit kat 2F wrapper


The candy buffet did not turned out as what I expected it to be. I ran out of time to search for better table cloth for the buffet station. At that point of time, I can only accept whatever that were there. Lesson learned, if you want the best, save some money and go hire professional


as for the main cake, adam was blessed for this super cute minions cake baked by his Mimi (prettyyummybyjjs) You can google her to find out what she can bake. Well, almost everything under the sun. She is so talented. The best part about the cake is that its a butter icing cake so you can actually eat the whole thing. I dont quite like the fondant type

All in all, it was quite a fun party. I also had some minion freebies for the games but unfortunately kids nowadays were not that interested with games. 

Thank God for the pool or else Adam's party will be the most boring party in the whole wide world

Well, I think thats all for now

Enjoy the picture

Adam with his fav babysitter


Friendssssss

Oh My Son




Me and ana banana


cake cutting timeeeee. I tried to dress him minion's like. but i failed to find any yellow shirt to go along with. Lesson no 2, PREPARE 4 MONTHS EARLIER or hire professional

sigh

Thank you for all the gifts



signage by dear Azalea

Balloon arch by Party Shop

ammar and hannah with aunty nette had fun with sand arts

mi familia

well, adults can join in the fun too. thanks ieqa and dayang for being the life guard for the day



Happy Birthday my son. Mommy loves you so much



Thursday, March 27, 2014

So so excited


9 more sleeps to my baby boy's birthday
and I am so so excited

Event organizer mode is totally ON!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Battlefield

I've lost the battle,
The battle between BF and FM
I know, I bore you with a lot of breastfeeding stories yada yada,
But I personally think I must tell this story,
So others can benefit from it...

Initially I've set a short term mission; 6 month fully breastfeeding then extended to 1 year fully breastfeeding. It is important for mothers who wish to breastfeed their child to set their own target, mission and vision so it can be your motivating factor.
The first 6 months was easy, supply was exceeding the demand so to speak
So I had a lot of EBM in my fridge

The reality kicked in when he was 8 months old,
Stocks depleted so cepat I cant even catch up...
and the situation worsen when I started sending him to Tunas Kijang, the daycare centre under my organization
With 5 teachers and 11 babies in his class, Adam can no longer enjoy the benefit of having all eyes watching his every move, his every need. Everything is based on schedule in which they have allocated 3 milk time daily
So, 3 x 4oz per milk time, I have to prepare 12 oz of EBM every day for him
I was not very keen on setting the oz too high considering he is already taking solid food and I dont think he will be hungry every 1.5hrs but I cant comment much when they say theres a possibility he wants more milk when he sees everybody else is drinking theirs
#irestmycase #hisneedisevenmoreimportant

In order to be able to provide those ounces, I have to do more pumping.
Its easy if you are staying at home, you can just shove your boobies to his face and the problem is solved
Its not easy when you are working and hell its even worse when you are an auditor
The other auditor mommies can vouch to this
I practically have back-to-back meeting during peak season, and it were all long winded meeting
Also with the lactation room situation where banks that I audit do npt provide this facility which translated to pumping-at-any-places kind of modus operandi in order to achieve the target

But I cant be having 4 pumping session at the office/bank. So I end up pumping in the middle of the night or as early as 4am everyday. It was really tiring I cant deny that. I've been doing this for 2 months despite all the pressure for me to top his milk intake with formula milk.

But somehow along the line, I lost. It really took a toll on me and with heavy hearts I introduced Goat's formula milk to my baby, at the age of 10 months++. I cried that day, every time I think of it, I cried. I have failed in giving the best to my son.

So, the moral of the story here is to be prepared if you wish to fully bf your baby till 2 years old. It requires tonnes of sacrifice, lesser sleep hours, more wrinkle around your eyes, more money spend on eye cream and the most important part, your emotion.

You also need to be emotionally strong to combat this. You need to have a good surrounding. You need to have an understanding husband that would be willing to do house chores like folding clothes, sweeping floor, make the bed and etc. You need to be with positive people that have similar goal to see the baby is getting the best milk in the whole wide world and most importantly money cant buy. You need to have the environment where people acknowledge that breastfeeding is the best choice.

To husbands out there, help your wife. Because that's the least of things that you can do. Literally. Think about those money that your wife helped to save when she provide her milk to your child. Formula milk is not cheap I can tell you that. If you think that your day sucks, think again because what your wife had to endure in order to produce those 12 ounces is beyond word. Heck if men can produce milk instead of women, I am sure that Formula Milk companies is doubling their profit today.Also, always think that this is just  a phase when she suddenly PMS-ing and what not. It will go away and it will be a smooth one if she is getting all the help that she need

To my son, I am so sorry. I have failed you. I will try still until I just cant do it anymore. Do know that I will do anything for you,even it cost me my life and my happiness

I love you Adam Khaliff


Say something...

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl


- A Great Big World - 
 

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